Today, someone very dear to me, and who cares about me greatly, could not understand why I was attempting to continue a personal, loving friendship with someone who had blatantly “done me wrong.” I appreciate the love and concern, but I began to think about the bigger issue: can, and should, a broken relationship between people be mended?
Our most important relationship is, without doubt, our personal relationship with God. He forgives us no matter what we have done. We ask for forgiveness, we repent and we are forgiven. Shouldn’t we forgive others as God forgives us? Yes and no.
John 13:34-35 states:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
I could quote Bible verses all day, but what does God really want us to do in practical application? Certain severe and repetitive issues are deal-breakers for me.
I don’t think God wants a battered wife (or husband) to stay for more abuse. I don’t think God wants a child taken to the ER multiple times with severe injuries to be returned to his/her home without meticulous investigation of the situation. These types of issues require not only prayer but legal intervention as well and are complicated.
What about friendships and non-violent family feuds? To me, it depends on the issue(s) at hand, how sincere the person is in apologizing and how many times you’ve had the problem(s). As with the severe situations mentioned above I don’t think God wants us to allow others to walk over us repeatedly, but how much is too much? Where do we draw the line? What would Jesus do?
For me, if an issue can be discussed, both parties take responsibility for their individual actions, a solution is agreed upon, and both sincerely want a reconciliation and are willing to work at repairing the relationship, then why not?
For some, such as my concerned loved one earlier today, reconciling after my hurtful and involved argument with a friend would not be an option. This person is actually angry with me for even considering opening my heart up to my offending friend. I think each of us has a varied tolerance for these types of things. I respect my loved one’s opinion, but for me, I’m not ready to lose my friend.
I feel that we’ve discussed the issues at great length, we’ve each taken responsibility for our part in the problems, we’ve agreed on solutions, and we’ve agreed that we want to move forward.
I will admit that my heart is guarded; it will take time for us to rebuild the trust and comfort level we had before the argument. Perhaps we will never get back to the way things were before the argument, but then again, that might be a good thing. We might have a better relationship moving forward.
As for my loved one, I pray that he/she will learn to respect our varied opinions.